If I have chocolate around, I will eat it. 10) Dirty Harry: A middle-aged septic tank maintenance man with an aversion to bathing and a love of off-color jokes is taken by surprise as his family and friends stage an intervention. Because I see me filling you up with my nuts. Roald Dahl, Just as bees will swarm about to protect their nest, so will I swarm about to protect my nest of chocolate eggs. No, that's not an epi-pen in my pants. Then he separated the light from the dark, and it was better. Shock-o-lat. You can call me metronidazole because I do great work below the diaphragm without needing air. I thought of you while having chocolate cake, because you are just too sweet. I heard a rumor that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental Cadbury crave bar. Im never a selfish person but when it comes to sharing you with other peopleI dont think so. Sweet Sweet Baby Ruth Yiha, you are already subscribed with this email :). She also ate every letter in her name, but left me feeling good: oo! Ive got a collection of hilarious chocolate jokes and puns that will make you chuckle no matter what time it is! That way, at least youll get one thing done. The man replies, "And he ate that much chocolate?" Chocolate fantasy in progress. - You don't get hairs in your mouth with chocolate. Some of our greatest chocolate jokes are here! They go ahead and do it, with success: the fish boat sinks. 60+ Chocolate Puns That Will Justify Your Chocolate Addiction Hershey. If youve got melted chocolate all over your hands, youre eating it too slowly. Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. Chocolate and kids together is a wild combination. Cao-cao!On a cold and gray Chicago mornin where was another little baby chocolate bar born?In the Gateaux (ghetto)!What do you get when you cross a red racing car, nuts, and chocolate?A Ferrari Rocher!Why did the chocolate-hazelnut truffle stand out in a crowd?He was nutty!What type of cookies do they eat in the Galaxy?Chocolate Chewbacca cookies!Which candy bar is handsome, talented, rich, and lacks for nothing?A Bounty-ful!Which candy bar always gets picked first for the sports team?A Skor!What do three men and fluffy nougat covered in chocolate have in common?3 Musketeers!Which is the clumsiest candy bar?A Butterfinger!What kind of jokes do funny chocolate bars not crack?Ones about Easter eggs theyre morbid!Which is a chocoholics favorite kind of party?One thats choco-lit!What do you get when you cross beer with a chocolate bar?A Choco-Light!Why did the candy bar cross the road?Because he was choco-LATE for the bus!What chocolate bar never laughs at jokes?Snickers he only snickers!What do you call an extra sweet cookie?A chocolate chip cutie!What do you get when you enrobe a sheep in chocolate?A candy baaaaa-r!Why was the candy bar confused?Because she was a Her-She-y bar!What occasion do cute chocolate bars look forward to all month?PayDay! A Wispa.Knock, knock.Whos there?Candy boy.Candy boy who?Candy boy have another piece of chocolate? And I think the answer lies somewhere between conversation and chocolate. Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. . If Jake has 30 chocolate bars, and eats 25, what does he have? the best of dirty verbal jokes that will coil your toes , take up the challenge not to laugh, try not to laugh, C? Your email address will not be published. Chocolate is the greatest gift it was really great choice for gifting. What is a monkey's favorite cookie? Pizza, Coffee, Chocolate and Sex. Andrew Weil, M.D. Babe, you know what's better than that Tootsie roll? Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy, submissons by: geovannebiggs, rpickford109, Mistisanders, Theodorkrueger, 810841252, kristine12, luketuffs10, Smanning1818, sophiathebest, sony8877, no1puppyhugger, Steveandde, lidaisy55. Susan Isaacs, The 12-step chocoholics program: NEVER BE MORE THAN 12 STEPS AWAY FROM CHOCOLATE! When the three kids discover that a . The total text used must be less than one paragraph, and the website must give credit to and link back to this page. Apparently, he still had a few twix up his sleeves. We allow other website publishers to quote small snippets of text. So, grab your chocolate chip cookies and get ready for some laughs. "I've never laughed a woman in to bed, but I've laughed one out of bed many times.". If you were my husband I would poison your tea. Tootsie Trolls. ( Ice Cream Jokes) What one thing became more clear as you got older?. The man sitting next to him looks over and says, Eating that many chocolate bars are bad for you. Hershey Common and the Heat Ray. When the going gets tough, the tough eat chocolate. Anything tastes better dipped in chocolate. When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream! As long as its chocolate. "Keeps him from falling out of bed. Weirdly, I've been taking some anti-impotence medication for my sunburn. I like my girls like I like my Hershey Kisses Whos there? If you HAVE met that special someone and still believe that, I REALLY NEED to know where you get your chocolate! Which chocolate candy bar is a cats favorite? A Skor! First, invade ze kitchen. What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy? 3. Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTe. All Rights Reserved. Dr. Ruth Westheimer. 53+ Funny Quotes by Famous People 2023 (laugh-out-loud! 150 Hilarious Chocolate Jokes to Whet Your Appetite for Laughter No, the boy replied. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. eating chocolate You List of The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy episodes What do you call a lamb covered in chocolate?A Candy Baa.My wife always cheats when shes dieting.She hides chocolate bars around the house and fucks other menDid you hear about the love affair between Mr. Goodbar and Peppermint Patty?They had a baby, Ruth.What do you call a womanising chocolate?A cad-bury.How do you know its cold outside?When you milk a brown cow you get chocolate ice cream!What is the chemical formula for the molecules in candy?Carbon-Holmium-Cobalt-Lanthanum-Tellurium or CHoCoLaTeWhy did they put Viagra in chocolate bars?You eat it, She says, Oh, Oh Henry!What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? I like to keep my Options open.Whats the difference between a cow that produces normal milk and one that produces chocolate milk? . Why don't bananas snore? A cup of this precious drink permits a man to walk for a whole day without food. Are you a box of chocolate? Nibbling is not enough, know that I want to devour you fast. Now, isnt that handy? The boy looks over and responds, "My great grandfather lived to be one hundred and five". 3. And then, he wished he could be irresistible to all women Poof! Mother to son: "I'm warning you. Feel free to come to my inbox and share your thoughts! What type of cookies do they eat in the Galaxy? ", A elderly retiree wobbled gingerly into an ice cream shoppe and carefully, slowly climbed up onto a counter stool. We have a simple and elegant solution for you! Life is like a box of chocolates, It doesn't last too long for fat people. Do you know why?Son: I dont know. A Kitty Kat bar! Hershey. Q: Why do complete morons hate M&Ms? Chocolate Quotes and Jokes - Facts About Chocolate Did you hear about the claustrophobic astronaut? What did the M&M go to college? Why didnt the cow produce any chocolate milk? There was a million dollars. Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? A Butterfinger! Louis Lemery, 1702, The divine drink which builds up resistance and fights fatigue. Which is a chocoholics favorite kind of party? One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." Santa Clause wrote him back, "Ok, send me your mother." One liner tags: Christmas, dirty, kids, sport. You never know what youre gonna get. Want to see those? The man replies, And he ate that much chocolate? - You can have chocolate in in public. Speaking of dirty jokes, we have the ultimate stockpile of the dirtiest, raunchiest, and definitely, NSFW jokes for you. A Payday Chalk Easy Copy & Paste! Dont fight with me over chocolate because I am not someone to be truffled with! EMERGENCY ALERT: If wearer of this shirt is found vacant, listless, or depressed, ADMINISTER CHOCOLATE IMMEDIATELY. The penguin isn't the neatest eater, and he ends up covered in melted ice cream. What occasion do cute chocolate bars look forward to all month? I cannot think of anything sweeter than chocolate than oops of course there is you! It's been over 2 millenia and we're still waiting for his SECOND coming!" He had a chip in his tooth. 107 Chocolate Jokes That Are Deliciously Funny! Regardless of whether the chocolate is black, milk, or white, there is something really luxurious about eating chocolate, especially when it comes from big brands. Empty calories: A hollow chocolate bunny? Is your name chocolate, because you make my serotonin levels rise and give me a sense of pleasure. Arnold Ismach, The Darker Side of Chocolate. Black jokes - Great jokes about black people, laugh hard and share Chocolate isnt a food, its a medicine an anti-depressant. 5. 4. A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Elaine Sherman, Book of Divine Indulgences, My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what I start. I dont like sweets but baby you are an exception to that rule. Chocolate is, lets face it, far more reliable than a man. In 1724, Dr. Richard Brookes claimed that chocolate prolonged life and cured ringworm and ulcers. What do you call a womanising chocolate? You are so sweet, I would eat you over chocolate any day. You know youre a chocoholic if the bartender tells you youve had enough shots of chocolate syrup for one night. What do you get when you cross beer with a chocolate bar? Knock knock! Whats a monkeys favourite kind of chocolate? Chocolate Chip Wookiee. So we've rounded up 30+ of the best chocolate jokes, puns, useless facts, and one-liners you . Dairy? You are like a box full of sweet that I cannot get hands off. The Chocolate Cream Soldier, Arms and the Man, I owe it all to little chocolate donuts. What does it do before it rains candy? I feel better already. He swings by every year to make sure that we are doing ok". I live for it. French cleric, 1620, Just think of all the wonderful blessings youve been given. I hate Bounty Hunters. We're totally the "you made a really awesome kid" kid. Have you seen all jokes? What kind of candy is never on time? Can you be my mocha? It is certain that we have more collections for you if you have enjoyed this collection of jokes about chocolate. - No need to fake your enjoyment of chocolate. mi tief three chocolate bars. Dairy milk chocolate! Who doesnt love chocolate? Tosh made a rape joke . Why cant trans men enjoy chocolate? Gathering his remaining strength, he lifted himself from the bed. Why a carrot as a logo? A marsbar! 1. said the cashier. I appreciate a balanced diet. Baby, I badly wanted to be the drizzle to your banana and strawberries. It's so cold even prisoners are begging for the electric chair. Ones about Easter eggs theyre morbid! - You can safely have chocolate while you are driving. 2. These chocolate knock-knock jokes are sure to put a smile on your face. Donut be jelly. Have a look! Change), You are commenting using your Facebook account. Norman Hollenberg, M.D., Ph.D., Harvard Medical School, Chocolate contains large amounts of the same beneficial plant chemicals that now have burnished the reputation of tea. 150 Hilarious Chocolate Jokes to Whet Your Appetite for Laughter. A chocolate pun! Magic Lamp Because he was choco-LATE for the bus! 2. Could be a Chinese Wispa. Top 22 Bahut Hi Gande Chutkule In Hindi | Very Dirty Jokes in Hindi | Unclejokes. Nitric oxide plays such an important role in the maintenance of healthy blood pressure and, in turn, cardiovascular health. Stay out of those, said his wife, theyre for the funeral., A young girl was at the dentist for a check up. Lick my fingers like you could not get enough of me like you do to your sweets. There are two types of people in this world: People who love chocolate and liars. Chocoearly. One child whispered to another, "Take all you want. Im not overweight, just chocolate enriched. 84. Baby I am only tempted by two things: you and chocolate. Man cannot live on chocolate alone, but women sure can! 4. It was Terry-vying.I like to break the rules once I had an After Eight at seven-thirty.Ive got three Mars bars, two Lion Bars, a Twix and a Flake. Love is a substitute for chocolate. Anything is good and useful if its made of chocolate. Life is a like a box of chocolates, and I cannot imagine my life without you. Click here for instructions on how to enable JavaScript in your browser. I identify as a chocolate bar. my favorite is the m&m racist oe lol why are there no white m&ms. What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? The pope retorts "Chocolates? Tiefing And cause them long for you know what, If they but taste of chocolate. If only the sweets tastes like you then I would definitely start to love them. If you believe that, you REALLY need to meet that special someone who can change your mind. @. Once you consume chocolate, chocolate will consume you. So noble a confection, more than nectar & ambrosia, the true food of the gods. A candy baaaaa-r! What do you call stolen cocoa? - Dr. Stress wouldnt be so hard to take if it were chocolate covered. Religion How about we get some Titty Roll in the sheets. When the old man returned, the young man felt guilty and confessed to taking the peanuts. Top Ten Movie Titles That Originally Had a Different Plot What does it do before it rains candy?It sprinkles!Once there were two chocolate bunnies and one had his ear bitten off.One said Happy Easter! What did the other one say? Don't bite off more than you can chew, unless its chocolate. Please sign up with your best email address. What is the meaning of life? These are great. A Candy Baa. Girl: Well that's because He's a life saver! Why did the M&M go to University? Among lifes mysteries is how a two-pound box of chocolate can make a person gain five pounds. It comes from the cocoa bean, beans are veggies, nuff said. Knock Knock! Chocolate is natures way of making up for Mondays. I want to lick your body the way I would lick anything with chocolate. The optimist sees the glass as half full. Babe, you are definitely not M&M, because you are melting by my fingers. Then you could kill as much as you desire. You can give without loving, but you cant love without giving, and the gift of chocolate is the most loving of all. The man replies, "And he ate that much chocolate?". A: Because, when you put three of them together, you get KKK. Furthermore, most of these funny chocolate jokes are clean and safe for everyone. I can definitely make an adjustment for you. Coffee Jokes. 67 Funny and Dirty Jokes 2023 (VERY Dirty and Clean Ones) I want to lick your body the way I would lick anything with chocolate. Would you like to hear some sexy chocolate jokes? Therapy One day while the older man was away from his desk, the young man couldnt resist and went to the old mans jar and ate over half the peanuts. Enjoy our chocolate quotes and jokes by clicking on a link to jump to that topic below. You've probably laughed when you saw someone slip over a banana peel before but that's not the only time this fruit can be funny. PayDay! What is an astronauts favorite chocolate? It may not be true, but do I dare take the chance? I love hole foods. You look sad, let me sprinkle some of good vibes at you baby. I think it was too dark for me to see the second one.I just ate too much chocolate, nuts and marshmallows. So, without wasting the time, lets enjoy these jokes. "hand me another one" he ate that too, " hand me one more" and he ate it. Flowers and champagne may set the stage, but its chocolate that steals the show. Research tells us fourteen out of any ten individuals likes chocolate. How about I make you happy this time? Ready for some chocolate jokes? A new hybrid. Bad knees.. I would go to Italy and eat ice cream if I won the gelato-ry! Q: Why did the complete moron get fired from the M&M factory? Love sharing with your friends and family? Lets get right into the chocolate silliness and dive right in. But he minded his own business.Why did the chocolate bar go to the dentist?He had a chip in his tooth.Why is a Toblerone triangular?So it fits in the box.There are two types of people in this world:People who love chocolate and liars.What is the opposite of Chocolate?Chocoearly.What Christmas carol do candy bars sing?Almond Joy To The World.Why did the Oreo go to the dentist?Because it lost its filling! - Geronimo Piperni, quoted by Antonio Lavedn, surgeon in the Spanish army, 1796. Q: Why is there no such organization as Chocoholics Anonymous? Surprised, the pope follows up with "He visits every year?! Baby I badly wanted to be the drizzle to your banana and strawberries. A cad-bury. What candy is only for girls? Kids these days are so stupid. What Christmas carol do candy bars sing? The man says, "And the Viagra?" Why did they put Viagra in chocolate bars? 50 Coronavirus Jokes That Should Help You Get Through Quarantine 85. Little Truths TheLaughFactory. Want to come with me? Available on Etsy. What's the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball? Too much of a good thing is simply wonderful! I can only imagine how people in the park would react! Thanks. My favorite place in the world is cuddled next to you nibbling something sweet. Hershey makes millions of kisses a day, all I want is just one from you. Mustering one final effort, he threw himself toward the table. Girl, I love how you melt this hard chocolate bar with your mouth, perhaps you can melt something else tonight. It sprinkles. We know we love them! Are you chocolate milk? To display your contact list, you must sign in: 90 Anti-Jokes So Serious They're Hilarious. "Don't worry, son. You wont ever need to bring me sweet food, I like you enough. For their dessert, most French cats like the chocolate mousse. There are other ways to make them happy, like our chocolate jokes. Make sure to tell these to true . Can I have chocolate filling please?. What happens when you try to eat 5 candy bars at once? Nibbling is not enough, know that I want to devour you fast. Here are 50 funny Elf jokes, including Elf jokes for kids. Never eat more chocolate than you can lift. Chocolate Jokes Dirty Jokes dirty What is a monkey's favorite cookie? 53 Best Valentine's Day Jokes and One Liners 2023 - Country Living 60 Funny Dirty Jokes For Adults That You Need To Hear! . You must be over 18 years old to visit this site. Julia Louis-Dreyfus, I probably have some sort of chocolate five times a week. We forget that chocolate is derived from cocoa beans-the fruit of the cacao tree-a fruit that is a rich source of these potentially beneficial substances. Then he wished for a convertible, and poof! Sense of Humor. He rubs it and a genie appears. Dr. Bachot, 1662. 35 Best Dirty Jokes You Can Tell To Spread Laughter (For Adults Only If at first you dont succeed, have a little chocolate. Nothing else comes to mind to finish this rhyme, so I'll just spit it out - most importantly, you gave us the Star Wars . A: Chocolate covered aunts. HER-SHEy's Kisses! We have plenty of pickupline ideas about chocolate for you to use. . It is free and the FUNNIEST Newsletter you will ever receive! Girl my taste buds almost always craves for chocolate but now it craves for you.